Joke #4370

Meet Gary, a man who believes the thermostat is the only thing in his life he can truly control since his kids stopped calling and his wife started "finding herself" at hot yoga three times a week. As the global temperature rises, Gary has decided to stop fighting the heat and start monetizing it, turning his suburban driveway into a literal frying pan where he charges influencers ten dollars to record videos of eggs cooking on his pavement. He is not worried about the ozone layer; he is just thrilled that for the first time in thirty years, his joints feel less stiff than the conversation at his last performance review. 🍳 While the scientists are busy crying over data points, the rest of us are realizing that a world without winter is just a world where the sun finally takes care of the "homeless problem" by turning every sidewalk into a five-star crematorium. We are trading the survival of the Great Barrier Reef for the ability to grow mangoes in New Jersey, and honestly, have you ever tried to eat a piece of coral? It is the ultimate demographic shift where the heat will finally burn off anyone who cannot afford a high-end air conditioner, leaving a glorious, sweat-free paradise for the elite to enjoy their sunset cocktails without having to look at the help. 🥂🏜️

Prompt: rising temperatures across the globe

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Joke #4370

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